Changing
by pyromaniac325
Summary: You lose yourself when you go through the Changing.
1. Chapter 1

_You lose yourself when you go through the Changing._

* * *

><p>"Ben. Ben! Hold still, shuck-face!" He can here someone talking to him, but he doesnt know who. He doesn't know why. All he knows is pain. All he knows is he's changing. He'll stay Ben, he knows that, or at least he knows his name will stay Ben, but he's not sure if that will be who he is anymore.<p>

_Ben. _He thinks his name. He needs something, _Anything_, to focus on other than the visions. Other than the pain.

He's aware, barely, of the med-jacks moving around him. He can feel their hands holding him down, pinning him against the bed.

His throat is raw, and he can taste blood. A scream echos through the room and common sense tells Ben that it's his own.

The room around Ben disappears, and is replaced by a face. The face of a kid he doesn't know, but feels like he should. He focuses on the features of the boy, if only to give him something to do. He has mousy brown hair that flops in his eyes, and isn't good-looking by any stretch of the imagination. Some memory, that seems just out of reach, dances on the edge of Ben's mind. Something about this kid. Something he _should _remember. Something he can't.

As the image fades the pain returns and Ben can hear himself screaming again. He arches his back, straining against something. Something is trying to hold him down. With a more powerful scream, Ben struggles harder, but is unable to throw whatever it is off. Confusion sets in as he tries to take in his surroundings, and as he tries to figure out what his restraints could be.

"Damnit, slinthead! Can't you hold still for..."

The voice grows quieter as another vision replaces the boy. Ben's in a room with blue walls. A bed is shoved up in the corner, and the bedspread's pattern consists of space-ships, stars and planets. _This is my room_. Ben remembers. But something isn't right. He can't remember. He's never remembered.

"Ben!" A woman's voice, warm and caring comes from behind the door.

"Coming, Mom!" Ben sees a five-year-old version of himself jump up and run for the door, but just as his hand touches the doorknob the vision swirls away from him.

And it's back to the pain. The pain. The restraints. The screaming.

He turns his head to the left, and forces his eyes into focus. He blinks, willing to swear that through the door that had been open for all of two seconds, he had seen the boy from his vision, staring back at him.

Another scream rips his throat to shreds and he is almost grateful when the next vision swims in front of his eyes.

Men in white coats escort him down a long hallway. At the end of it is what looks like elevator doors. _The Box_. Ben thinks.

As they draw closer the door opens, seemingly without any assistence from the men he is with. The men stop, but Ben keeps walking, into the box, and he wants to scream at himself not to do it. To run away. To get out now. To escape the Maze. But he can't change history.

He turns around, and the last thing he sees before the doors close and plunge him into complete darkness, is the boy.

Instead of returning to the pain and the screaming, conciously at least, the vision swirls, like smoke in the wind, and changes to a new scene.

He's standing outside, sweat pouring down his face, and his skin is red and blistering, and some instict tells him that he's only been standing here for a few minutes.

All around him there is nothing. No people. Just desert. He can feel that sand burning the bottoms of his feet, even through his shoes, and he is almost certain that were he to lift his foot up and inspect it he would find the rubber souls of his shoes melted from the scorching heat.

Almost out of nowhere Ben realizes he can make out the shape of a person, appearing through the waves of heat that melt the air like water. The person is followed by another. And one more after that.

The Ben in the memory smiles, but Ben feels something is wrong. He just can't remember what. Every time he tries the memory dances further and further away from him.

Memory Ben can't believe his luck. He had thought he was alone. Abandoned. And that he was going to die. Ben tries to remember what will happen next, and eventually bits and pieces begin to take shape in his mind, seconds before they do for Memory Ben.

The man in the front's entire face is covered in blood. His own blood, seeping from two identical scratch wounds, one on each cheek. They look as if they have been clawed with fingernails.

he next person, a woman, is missing fingers, two on each hand, and around her neck hangs a necklace of teeth. Her toothless smile tells Ben they are her own.

Another Woman is the third. Her face is just as bloody as the man's, however with no obvious cuts the blood seems to not be her own. She is smiling, but instead of a warm look, she looks deranged. She brings her hand to her mouth and gnaws on her finger.

Finally, Memory Ben appears to notice these things too. The smile slips off his face and he turns around, running, as far and as fast as he can.

Memory Ben trips on his shoelaces and falls face-first into the hell-hot sand. Before he can get up three gunshots ring out in the silent desert air. One after another the three people fall. The man, then the two women.

Memory Ben looks up, expecting to find a gun aimed at him too, but instead finds the boy kneeling near him, with another man, with a gun, standing behind him. The armed man holsters his gun, and though memory Ben's attention remains fixed on him, Ben turns back to the boy, but before any of them speak, the vision fades.

Ben returns to screaming. Screaming and thrashing. Until finally, utterly exhausted, he collapses, and allows himself to lose consciousnes.

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><p><strong>So I'm thinking this is going to end up being around three or four chapters...up until Ben gets banished...anyone like it? Hate it? Nothing it? Lemme know in a review please!<strong>

**-pyro325**


	2. Chapter 2

Ben wakes up to find he is alone. There is no one around his sick-bed, which suits Ben just fine. He still feels like klunk, but he doesn't want to be stuck here.

He sits up, turning so his feet are hanging off the bed, and resting on the ground, before easing himself up. All his muscles ache, and his joints are even worse but he doesn't want to stay here.

He slowly makes his way over to the door, and peeks is head around to make sure there is no one there. He smiles to himself upon realizing there is no one, and slips quietly out the door, moving down the stairs and out the door before anyone came to check on him.

Outside, Ben blinks rapidly as his eyes adjust from the dim light of the Homestead to the bright light of the sun.

Looking around he blinks again, and rubs at his eyes, thinking the hallucinations had started again. There, in front of him, moving towards the wood where the Glader's cemetery lies, is the Boy. The boy from his visions. His nightmares.

But this doesn't feel like the visions. No, something inside Ben tells him this is real. The Boy is really here.

Frowning Ben decides to follow him. He wants to know who this boy is. He wants to know why he's seen him before. He wants to know why he was helping the Creators who had put them all here. Anyone who had helped them was a traitor in Ben's book.

He allows the boy to put distance between himself and Ben, not that he knew Ben was there. Ben thinks it's better to play it safe.

As they advance further and further into the woods the thick growth blocks out more and more sunlight, until the lack of light is enough to consider dark.

Ben stays back, peering through the trees, as the Boy bends over to read the names on the make-shift grade markers.

As the Boy bends over to read the inscription on the warning on the grave of the Shuck who'd repelled down the Box Hole, Ben takes a step forward and a twig snapped under his foot.

The boy's head snaps up, looking directly at where Ben was lurking in the trees. Ben smirks, and takes another step forward. And another. With each step another twig snapped.

"Who's out there?" the Boy demands, and Ben grins realizing the Boy is afraid. "Seriously this is stupid."

The Boy's voice quavered slightly, though he tried not to show it. Ben, however, saw right through it. He decided to use.

No longer trying to remain unseen Ben takes off running straight towards the Boy. Every time one of his feet hit the ground his sore muscles and joints would complain, causing Ben to limp, but Ben isn't about to slow down.

The Boy starts to say something but before he is able to finish Ben slams into him. Unsure what it is that is driving him Ben slams his fists into the Boy, barely aware of him trying to gain purchase and throw him off. He feels his teeth clack together, and on an impulse he clamps his jaw shut on the Boy's shoulder.

Seconds after the Boys shoves his hands against Ben's chest and sends him sprawling backwards. He feels a grave marker snap under his back.

Breathing hard he looks up to see the Boy scrambling away from him.

Ben scrambles to his feet, and crouches low, preparing himself to leap at the Boy again. Looking down at his hand he finds he has a knife clutched in it, not sure at all how it had gotten there. He must have had it in his pocket and no one had thought to take it away from him.

"_Ben!"_

He and the Boy both whirl around and find Alby, poised with a bow, arrow nocked and pointing directly at Ben.

"Ben," Alby says his name again, not moving the arrow so much as an inch. "Stop right now, or you ain't gonna see tomorrow."

Ben glares at Alby, licking his dry lips in order to moisten them. He needs Alby to see that the Boy is a threat to the Gladers.

"Alby, if you kill me," his voice comes out as a shriek. "you'll get the wrong guy." He whips his head back around to glare at the Boy. "He's the shank you wanna kill."

"Don't be stupid Ben." Alby still hasn't moved the arrow. It's surprising to Ben how calm Alby remains. "Thomas just got here." Thomas. Ben finally knows the Boy's name. "Ain't nothing to worry about. You're still buggin from the Changing. You should've never left your bed."

"He's not one of us!" Ben screams at Alby. "I saw him-he's...he's bad. We have to kill him!" Ben brandishes the knife. "Let me gut him!"

"You leave that to me and the Keepers to figure out, shuck-face. Right now, get your scrawny butt down and get to the homestead."

"Alby, if we let him have his way he'll want to take us home. He'll want to get us out. It would be better if we all jumped off the Cliff! Better we tore each others guts out!"

Ben had seen what the world was like. The visions of the man and two women would continue to haunt him.

"What are you talking-" the Boy, Thomas, begins, and Ben whirls on him.

"_Shut your face! _Shut your ugly, traitorous face!"

Somethingsnaps inside Ben. He doesn't know what, but he begins to rock back and forth on his heels. "Ben," Ably's voice is as calm as ever. "I'm gonna count to three."

"He's bad, he's bad, he's bad..." Ben is vaguely aware that he is rambling. He continues ram repeated those words as Alby begins to count.

"One." Pause. "Two." His voice grows louder, trying to give Ben a warning.

"Ben," as the Boy tried to reason with him, something snaps deeper within Ben. Ben doesn't here what Thomas says next, just lunges at the Boy, slashing out with his knife.

"_Three!"_ Alby's voice rings out, drowning out the sound of his bow string as it thwacks and sends the arrow hurdling at Ben.

Ben feels his head snap to the left, and he falls, laying flat on his stomach, knowing nothing but pain.


	3. Chapter 3

"Alby." Someone taps his shoulder. Alby spins around, startled, and sees one of the Baggers standing behind him.

"Shuck, Bruno. Don't do that."

"Do what?"

"Sneak up on me like that. You Bagger shanks are creepy." He adds the last part more to himself than to Bruno.

Bruno rolls his eyes, deciding to ignore that last comment. "Alby…you're going to want to see this."

"What?"

"It's about Ben. Just follow me." Without making sure Alby is following Bruno turns around and starts walking off. Rolling his eyes, and wondering why he puts up with the baggers Alby falls into step behind him.

Bruno leads him to the Slammer, unlocking the door and motioning for Alby to go through first.

Sitting in the one small chair, eyes open and very much alive, was Ben.

* * *

><p>Ben looks up as the door to the Slammer is opened, and sees Alby walking in.<p>

"Ben?"

Ben just stares the bandages wrapped around his cheek where Alby had shot him preventing him from speaking.

"The arrow seems to have only hurt his mouth and not hit anything vital," Bruno says. "We had the med-jacks patch him up, then brought him here. What do you want us to do with him now?"

Ben watches Alby, trying to read him for any sign of a decision. Alby licks his lips as he thinks. His shoulders move up and down as he sighs. "Call a Gathering. We'll decide what to do from there."

Not knowing what else to do, Alby turns and walks out of the Slammer with Bruno following behind. Ben hears the key turn in the lock as the door shuts behind the other boys, leaving him alone with his thoughts.

Alby calling a Gathering couldn't mean anything good for Ben. If he needs _all_ of the keepers to decide what to do with him it means that any punishment he had in mind was too harsh for him to pass on his own.

* * *

><p>Ben looks up as the slammer door is opened again. "Alby asked me to come get you," Bruno said. "The other Keepers are already at the Gathering and Alby wants you there. Let's go."<p>

Ben nods mutely, then grimaces, finding it hurts his arrow wound. He gets to his feet slowly and walks out of the slammer in front of Bruno. The two of them walk silently to the Gathering grounds, where there are two empty chairs. One for Ben, and one for Bruno.

"This one," Bruno motions to it. "Is for you."

Ben sits down without a word, and Bruno kneels next to him, pulling a length of rope from his pocket before proceeding to tie one of Ben's wrists to the arm of the chair. Ben bites back a protest, thinking it wouldn't matter anyway.

Without so much as a glance Bruno walks over to his own chair, and everyone's attention turned to Alby.

"Right...well," Alby begins. "As our leader I call this Gathering to order..." To Ben Alby seems somewhat uncertain of the formalities he's supposed to touch on, and he realizes that this is the first time Alby has called a Gathering. He'd only been in charge for a little while. He also notices how grim Alby looks. Alby has never been a cheerful guy to be around, but Ben has never seen him look _this_ somber. "One of our own attempted murder today. Of the greenbean Thomas. We're here to decide what is to be done about this."

As Alby continues to speak Ben sets to work trying to remove the bandages from his face with his free hand. With them on he isn't able to speak and he needs to be able to defend himself.

"I want to hear what you all have to say," Alby looks at the Keepers. "As far as punishment recommendation goes. I recommend..." Alby sighs, as if the next word will be hard to say. "banishment."

Ben's stomach sinks. _No. Not Banishment. Please no._

Alby looks around at the Keepers, none of whom speak up right away.

"Hold on a minute!" Ben protests, finally able to get the bandages to where he can speak. He grimaces; speaking hurts. "Do I even get a chance to defend myself? Banishment is a pretty serious punishment, Alby."

"And you tried to kill one of our own. That's a pretty serious offense, Ben."

"But you don't _understand_!" Ben is desperate now. "I _saw_ him. That boy...Thomas. I saw him! During the Changing...he was there. He was...was...well I can't remember now, it's all starting to fade. But he's bad. He's bad..." Ben can feel himself approaching the edge of sanity again and struggles to keep himself from tumbling over. He realizes his breathing is becoming more rapid, and he forces himself to slow it down and keep it under control. "And I'm sure Gally will tell you he saw the Boy too." Ben looks desperately at his Keeper, hoping beyond hope that he will confirm Ben's guess.

Almost immediately everyone's attention is on Gally, who sighs. "I saw the greenbean too," he confirms, and Ben breathes a sigh of relief. "But I didn't try to kill him either. Ben, you aren't stable and-"

"Were you when you went through this?" Ben interrupts, not liking the turn this has taken.

"I was more stable than you," is Gally's reply. He looks away from Ben. "I second Alby's recommendation of Banishment." Ben's heart sinks in his chest.

Alby nods. "Minho? What about you?"

For the first time Ben can remember the Keeper of the Runners looks serious. "I agree." Two words. That's it.

As more and more Keepers agree Ben gulps. They've already passed a majority vote. And it looks as though it will be unanimous.

Ben closes his eyes and tries to block everything out. He doesn't want to hear any more.


End file.
